Wednesday, December 18, 2013

"Way of the Heart" journey: Randomness of the universe


I'm 62 and I close this chapter of my life with sorrow, with sadness and tears because on December 8, 2013 (Sunday) 3days before my 62nd birthday at 5pm, I lost my love, my best friend, my partner of 17 years to a massive heart attack.
It was so sudden I couldn't believe that in less than 24 hours, he was all ashes in a white square box waiting when I will lay him in our land in Siquijor and at sea where he wanted to be.

 It took me 4 months to have the courage to go on the "Way of the Heart" journey.

I spent the whole month of April & 1st week of May in a vacation described as "way of the heart" journey.


It actually means you take a journey back to where you come from with your heart guiding your way. You wouldn't believe how things fall into place; time, schedules, people/friends/relatives you want to meet are in synch.


I traveled to Siquijor Island on April 14 & stayed there for the Holy Week celebration. I went there to scatter the ashes of my husband on our land there and into the ocean. 

John, my hubby wanted his ashes to be scattered there and because he was with the UK Royal Navy & a sailor, the ocean was his favorite place.

Having kept that promised, I stayed in the island for 3 days to heal myself.  

My bosom friend Rizalie and Belinda's family kept me company; hugged and embraced my grief as theirs too. They were there all the way to keep me in check! 

I am forever grateful to them from my heart...

The 2nd promise I have to keep was to take one of my very loyal ward, Gina to Dumaguete City for a job.

Gina has been our house help since she was 8 years old. We sent her to school until she finished college with a degree in teaching major in Special Education last year. 

I have a friend in Dumaguete City that owned a school. I recommended/ applied for her and she was admitted without question.

She's now there doing her OJT & she will be hired effective June 2014.


"Way of the heart" journey also include reconnecting with friends, friends that you've not seen for decades and relatives, siblings, nieces & nephews and those close to your heart. What surprised me though was how random the schedules were. They weren't planned but they were all there at contact & at the right time!


I spent a week at my friend's farm in Sta. Catalina town in Negros Oriental. Erla & I were classmates in college at Silliman university in Dumaguete City, and we lost track of our whereabouts since 1984! We got reconnected through Facebook in May 2013. 

While I was in Dumaguete, I called her up & she was at home with her kids who are also on vacation. She invited me to spend a week with them. 

 It was such a wonderful heartfelt experience in her home. Catching up conversation, tears, eating, be yourself, and lots of laughter and bonding with the rest of her family! It was exhilarating. 

The goodbyes were happy & hopeful for the next homing experience.


Another random meeting with an artist friend, Kitty. I was about to leave back to Cebu in the evening of April 22. The last time we met was in 1997. 

Thru Facebook again we reconnected about 2 months ago. Randomly, I just called on her home & she was there.

 She was on her way out to go to the bank, the same bank I also wanted to go! 

So we rode in her car, chatting and proceeded to a restaurant for lunch. 

We took photos of ourselves, we ate the kind of meal we used to eat...that was indeed fated! 

We did have a quality time for almost 3 hours, the only time we got for that day & we sealed out goodbyes with hugs & kisses!


Then, I met with my PIA-NegOr office mates, laughed, ate & conversed with them for the rest of the day because that evening I had to go back to Cebu for the next random trip.


The next stop for the "way of the heart" journey was going back to my roots. To my childhood/high school days. Meet with relatives, cousins, siblings and the "Babaylan clan".

My family name is Babaylan. My father belongs to the "Higaonon tribe" an Indigenous Peoples (IP) tribe in the Gingoog-Butuan areas. 



We had a reunion of the Babaylan Clan at Dinah's beach resort where we met our great grand elders, cousins, uncles & most of the clan. 

What was very interesting to me was that I am now a member of the IP "Higaonon Tribe" and I'm called "Bae Manunulat" or a female writer. I have an IP identity card to show. 

I also experienced a  "Higaonon Tribal Wedding ritual" of one of my nieces in the clan. That was really a feel-good/wonderful/ back-to-roots experience and they were all random!


The next 2 weeks were spent on the beach with siblings & reconnecting/spending time with high school batch '68, reminiscing what we did then.

Eat, laugh, live... and love was the overall most profound feeling present in the journey. 


I went back home to Cebu on May 4 full of wonderful memories. I thought that was enough...


My "way of the heart" journey was extended to another week of sun, sea, sand & workshop stint in Panglao Island, Bohol.


My agency scheduled the Climate Change Advocacy workshop for the PIA-DENR communicators from central office & the Visayas & Mindanao regions. It was held at Alona Kew White Beach Resort in Panglao, the little Boracay in Bohol, they say.



The whole stretch of ALona beach was just fantastic! The oceans are blue and calm & in the evening, the beach is a hive of activities.

I donned a bikini, walked barefoot, basked in the sunrise, took a swim in the beach and dipped in the pool. It was purely honest!

After the workshops were done, the tour of Bohol Island began. The team saw the Tarsiers' habitat, had great time taking photos with the nocturnal creature. 


From the Tarsiers off to the geological wonder of the Chocolate Hills at Sagbayan Peak & in Carmen to the Loboc River Cruise, a famous Bohol tourism attraction down to dinner at the Bee Farm where food serve are all organic and from their own garden & all products/meals are honey-based.



My last day of my journey was very random. Called on some friends in Bohol-- Merly, Ardissa & Gaya if they can adopt me for a night. Viola! They took me to dinner, had great conversations, laughed out loud, slept over, and had breakfast at Merly's. 



I went home with a deep tan, packed wonderful memories and some random lessons learned along the way:

1. You must go on a "Way of the Heart" journey in your lifetime.

2. Reconnect with your friends and spend time with them in your most authentic "self"

3. Inhale everything in the universe and exhale gratitude that all these are yours to enjoy

4. Laugh, live, love more because these will make you healthy

5. "Way of the Heart" journey is random & randomness is NOW. 

6. Love is the only constant in the universe

7. Nature is always kind & more generous than you can imagine

8. Nudity is honesty

9. Respect & love your "self" because that is your "soul"

10. I am God's work in progress






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